Primer

As much as possible I don’t really like to post anything about my life and my experiences because I don’t want this blog to be about me. Rather, this blog is about sharing the ‘wisdom’ of those who were before us. Those who have somehow figured out life before we even do – as we are still in the process of doing so. I say somehow because I believe that it is really hard, if not, impossible to have life truly figured out.

We can make make guesses and assumptions but by the end of the day they are still guesses and assumptions. But at least we have them. It is better than not having any ‘guide’ in going through life at all. This is why it is very important to think for ourselves and see things objectively. That is the only way that we can get closer to the truth. Why? Because everybody have their own opinions. We interpet things differently. But the truth remains as it is, it doesn’t change itself. And that is what we should aim for – to know the truth behind all of this ( our existence and the purpose behind it).

But since this blog is more of a personal one now, it’s inevitable for me to talk about my personal experiences in life. But even then, I want the readers of this blog to take something valuable from its entries. So I really hope that after reading the entries in this blog, the readers will learn a thing or two from it. Something that they (you) can apply in their (your) own lives.

Back To The Topic

Now back to the topic of this section. As I have said before I don’t really like to post anything about my life and my experiences because I don’t want this blog to be about me. Rather, this blog is about sharing the ‘wisdom’ of those have somehow figured out life before we even do – as we are still in the process of doing so. But if my experiences can provide such ‘wisdom’ then I believe it would be foolish of me not to share it with others. So without furthet ado, here it is:

The Question

“Do you judge people [based] on their shoes?”

Somebody asked me this question in one of my personal social networking accounts. This is what I answered to that person:

“No, I don’t. I ‘judge’ people based on their character.”

I think, at least in my view, the answer was satisfactory. It was short and concise. But something deep within me felt the answer was somehow lacking. So I felt the need to elaborate on my answer was necessary because I don’t want people to misunderstand the second sentence.

First Impressions

In general, I don’t really like to ‘judge’ people as much as possible. But I believe that it is inevitable whether we like it or not. Our minds will always make first impressions based on what we see. But that doesn’t mean that we should let it dictate how we make our ‘judgements’. I have read somewhere that we are not what we think. They are merely suggestions. It is up to us what we will make out of those suggestions. We always have the final say.

The Reason Behind

As much as possible, I don’t let those ‘first impressions’ dictate how I see other people. I believe that they have their own reasons as to why they do what they do, why they wear what they wear, and so on and so forth. Also, I don’t know them personally, so what right do I have to ‘judge’ them. And even if I did know them personally, I believe I still don’t have the right to ‘judge’ them.

I want to make the people around me comfortable as much as possible. I don’t want to make them feel like they are being judged because I know how it feels. I believe we all do. We all have been ‘judged’ at some point in time. Well, at least I did. And man, it surely doesn’t feel good.

But thanks to that experience because it made me a better person. It developed my sympathetic and empathetic ‘skills’. It made me sympathize and empathize with others more.

A Harsh Place

That experience made me tough too – metally tough to be specific. It made me realize that the world can be a harsh place. So you really need toughen up. Otherwise, people will prey on you if they perceived you to be ‘weak’ and ‘naive’. But let me be clear here, being ‘tough’ doesn’t mean being harsh. Those are two different things.

The kind of ‘toughness’ that we all should be striving for should the one that is driven by character and purpose mixed with a sense of fairness and equity.

We should not be ‘tough’ just for the sake of being tough and looking tough. To the point that the very reason why we want to be tough is so that we can intimidate others and look down on them. That is not toughness. That is bullying.

Stoic Toughness

What we should develop is a rather stoic kind of toughness. We should be quietly confident. We know that we are tough. This is a direct result of consciously training and disciplining ourselves to be one. But we are not compelled to display it because their is no need to do so. Rather, we try our best to remain as calm as possible. Because if we are calm, the people around us will be calm as well.

To what extent? To the point that if people try to insult us, we will not respond in a provoked and angry manner. Rather, we try to see the situation objectively. One way to do this is to ask yourself questions such as these: If I get angry and punch/kick/hurt this person, will it do me any good? Will it contribute to my ultimate goal in life? If not, then just let it pass. You are really way much better off that way. Responding to insults like that will only drain your energy and time. Which could have been put to use in a more productive manner hadn’t you responded to that insult.

Always Be A Class Act

Also, I don’t want to say this because I deem it to be unnecessary. But in case you need more motivation to suppress your anger and refrain yourself from getting provoked everytime somebody says something bad about you. Especially when you know that what they are saying aren’t true at all and that it isn’t grounded on facts. Just remember that their actions degrades them not you. It’s a reflection of who they are and not of who you are. Actions speak louder than words. They are basically trying to let the world see who they really are deep within without saying it explicitly.

As Ryan Holiday have said in his book Ego Is the Enemy:

“Those who have subdued their ego understand that it doesn’t degdrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them.”

Always be a class act, it pays off in the end. Those who insulted you will also feel bad about themselves because you didn’t respond to their taunts at all. They feel foolish and childish. Which may or may not prompt them to change their behavior. It really all boils down to who they really are deep within.

That is why it is very important to be mindful of our actions and manners. We should be kind and understanding as much as possible because if others can see that, there is a high probability that they will be moved by your actions and thus prompt them to change their behaviors as well.

Fun Fact

The title of this entry was inspired by the boook 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Its content was somehow inspired by its (the book) teachings as well.

P.S.

To the one who asked this question, in case you are reading this, thank you! Your question inspired me to write this entry. The lessons that it tries to partake can potentially help a lot of people, which I believe is priceless. The credit belongs to you, to your question, to the experience. Again, thank you very much!

Thank You!

Okay that’s it for now, thank you for reading this entry! I hope you got something of out of it. Something valuable. Something that you can apply in your own life. If you would like to add something that you feel would be of great help to the other readers. Feel free to do so by dropping a comment down below. I and (I presume) the other readers would love to hear from you. Again, thank you for reading this entry. Cheers! Till next time!😊👋

Sources:

Image by: Free-Photos via Pixabay

Book excerpt is from:

Ego Is the enemy by Ryan Holiday

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